2014 has been, to say the least, a particularly crap year. I see that a few bloggers are summarizing the good and the bad and sharing their thoughts and feelings about the past 12 months.
In the same spirit, I will share some of the highlights and the lessons I have learned:
One – I learnt that I am unable to play nice with others. I mean, I have known that for a long time – but having 5 tenants… was a test like none other. The experience lasted 7 months and left me ready to suffocate people in thier sleep. Between one girl smelling like toilet spray, another two girls having a picnick in my front garden so that my dogs went crazy until my nosy neighbour came out with a gun, to evicting tenants who brought drugs in. That one accused me of not “entertaining him”. To girl bringing boyfriend in and me watching, confused, as he orders her around and she just obeys. My pots and pans destroyed. My washing machine destroyed … And my patience, non existent.
Two: I learnt that owning a treadmill does not necessarily mean I will use it. Or the punching bag. Or the weights. Or the cycling machine.
Three: I learnt that I should be an Avenger. I had two molars removed with no anesthetic. Seriously. I am indestructible.
Four: I learnt who my friends are and who I trust. My initial distrust and wariness of most people and why, was reaffirmed. I don’t mind arrogant people who are at least well read and have some substance to them. I do however detest toxic, ignorance and strange logic that comes from some people. People who are perpetual victims. People who will never grow because they are selfish and obnoxious.
Five: I learned that I am scared of crickets. You can chop them in half and they still move. For a long time.
Six: I learnt that taking three sleeping tabs means that I will sleep right through being burgled. Good to know for future.
Seven: I learnt about WordPress and as a result I have discovered some incredible and inspiring people. Americana Injustica. To name but one. Beautiful woman who’s journey and who’s strength is astounding. She is a force of nature and I am grateful to know her.
Eight: I learned that the people of my past who still cling to the ideas of friendship and randomly pop up to check in on me never really knew me at all.
Nine: I learned that I am still able to find beauty in men. James is a kind and beautiful soul with a busy mind, quiet heart and he showed me that I am able to want to share with someone else. Before him, I didn’t allow anyone close enough for me to feel safe.
Ten: I learned that my version of what the world looks like is so different from anyone else’s, that I have been forced into some self reflection that I was not ready for – but proved to be good for me.
Eleven: but mostly I learnt that race, colour, class, income and history make no difference to me as long as you are a person who thinks independently and who doesn’t regurgitate what someone else said. I learned that I am judged harshly by those I didn’t expect it from. My eccentric way, my straight forwarded approach … Not always a party favourite. Most importantly though, I don’t care. Because….
Twelve: I learnt that we all have skeletons. And that’s is what makes us beautiful. Our flaws and the demons that we have coffee with in the morning before leaving the house.
I have no New Years resolutions. If I wanted to be a better person I am either already trying or aware that I would fail in any given area so will stick to the crazy that I am and be content with the idea that some will love me and some will the me and those who can’t decide… well, I will decide for them.