Black: أسود اللون

Word Game.

It’s something I do at night, when I am unable to sleep and James is fast asleep and waking him to talk would be pointless… and when talking to my cat would only make me feel closer to insanity. He has a look that he gives me… that I am pretty sure if he could speak would contain serious cuss words.

How it works. I pick a person or an emotion. And they are the first word. Then the next is what that word or person elicits. And so on.

As I am feeling a bit melancholy at the moment, the word I will start with, will be: Night.

Night. Blind. Cleaver. Teargas. Dad. Police. Drugs. Fadi. Egyptian. أسود اللون. Suicide. Hospital. Rehab. Andre. Afrikaans. Bird Shit. Out doors. Hate. Sunshine. Hate. Nurses. Fighting. Anger. Misunderstood. Misread. Authority. Bullies. Head slam. Watching. Blood. Metallic. Taste. Synesthesia. Colour. Red. Autumn. Photography. Marina. Heartbroken. Love. Fickle. People. Too many…   I don’t understand them. I read them…  but I don’t understand them..  ugh.. time for a new word.

Music. Jazz. Theloniuos. Nina. Black. Beautiful. Harmony. Peace. Candles. Meditation. Dead. Voices. Quiet. …   uhm..     James. Kind. Timid. Soft. Bullied. Weak. No..  that can’t be right. Fuck.

Oh right. New word. Fuck. Faceless. Drunk. Uncle. Smell. Withdraw. Hide. Smile. Pretend. Hope. Stupid. Kids. Happy. Dirty. Kids. Baron. Jason. Kicking. Scars. Hospital. أسود اللون

S&M. Pain. Bored. Broken. Breaking. Bored. Games. Seduction. Entertainment. Manipulation. Brainless fucking people……  how do you not know you are being led along?  Dammit…  new word..    uhm…

Some nights I will get it right. But for the most part I always loop and end up in the same place… and end up getting up for more coffee and a smoke.

Try again. While on the couch breathing in my smoke. Marlboro. London. Lewisham. Trains. Happy. Anonymous. Faceless. Buskers. Music. Homeless. bagels. Coffee. Starbucks. Crazy. Beautiful. Postbox. Walking. Mind the Gap. Pace. Nathan. American. Blind patriotism. WKD Vodka. Commune. Pearl.. Fire..    oh, no..   don’t want to go there.

On goes the TV, and I escape. My mind.

16 thoughts on “Black: أسود اللون

      1. Unlikely….. but i have dated women and men and they all balls to the wall complicated. So i think its just about working with what you got and try to see whats beautiful. That sounds so lame… But its true.


      2. For now what I have is two kids and five cats. lol. I think I should stick with cats. They make great parenting partners and companions without any complicated. What does that say that my longest relationship is with chubby little calico?

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Yup, I think it worked – I don’t recall falling asleep. Then again, I did have a glass of warm milk. I’ll try it again tonight without the milk.

    Liked by 1 person

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