The “Unsecret” Dialogue Chronicles – Part 4

S: Uh, it was on sale. So only $30 … it reminded me of one of those old SMEG fridges…, you know the cool retro looking ones? I fucken love those…
J: I am more interested in how it became your weapon of choice…
S: It wasn’t. My initial plan was to drug them all…  *points at body laid on the bathroom floor*..   that is one large dude. I had the duct tape and the plastic bags ready. It would have been much neater if the other two would have taken bigger fucking sips of their wine…
J: What the fuck went wrong?
S: The two that didn’t drink much caught on to what was happening when the other two started to nod off… and slur. So they got all pissy, and I was …  standing next to the toaster when the other guy stood to get all up in my face…
J: Holy fuck S…   you smacked him hard with that toaster. And yeah..   it is a cool looking toaster….
S: Smoke?
J: Aye
S: …. and then… I got caught up in the moment and pushed play on ‘my song’. They fucked out – –
J: Hold on. Let’s get the names right. If I am going to help you make bodies ‘disappear’ I should at least know what the fuck went on here and with who.

J looked at S with expectant eyes. S took a deep drag of her stolen cigarette, and grinned.

S: Okay, so the big dude right here is Bjorn. He was sweet on the blonde over there. I didn’t get her name. It sounded like a porn star name…   that’s all I know. I was more interested in her cleavage…
J: S, focus.
S: I was  *grin*
J: Okay so Bjorn and Porn Star. That chap over there with the ridiculous Paddington Bear tattoo, I met him in the book store up the road. He was being an asshat to some woman, so I befriended him, with the intentions of bringing him back here to educate him on how a man should treat a woman. *whispers – and he brought friends.*
J: *shakes head* And then??
S: *Points* That young bloke over there, he was a good guy I think. But what was I to do? Not like I could have said ‘could you hang on five minutes while I kill your friends?’
J: His name?
S: Uhm…     I forget. Does it matter?
J: So your aim was to kill one man, and he brought three friends whose names you cant remember and you ended up killing them all with a toaster and a frying pan?
S: Well.. when you put it like that…
J: You did not forward think this, did you?
S: No… not really. NOt one of my finest calculations.
J: …                 Fuck.
S: So do you want pliers or blow torch?
J: What???
S: Teeth need to come out, and fingers need to be burned.
J: Fingers. No.. teeth. No…. fingers. S…   seriously?
S: J…  pick one.
J: Fingers. ..   *pause*   Can you clean that toaster up and use it again?
S: I doubt it. His face is mashed. I cant have evidence of someone’s face in my toaster. But the frying pan maybe… dishwasher?
J: Have you never watched CSI?
S: Well, then best we get a move on eh??  *Hands J blow torch*

S straddled the mashed faced body of Bjorn and prepares to start yanking teeth…

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