The “Unsecret” Dialogue Chronicles – Part 8: Out of our Trees

S jiggled the pack of smokes around in an attempt to see how many were left. Accidentally flicking one out clear across J’s lap and onto the floor at her feet.

S:    Oh…    my bad. Try not to squash it with a pedal…
J:    Are you kidding? S…   that shit will roll around under there and will be trampled…
S:    Pull over.
J:    So you can fetch a stupid cigarette?
S:    No. So I can pull your license tags that we can stop, so that I can buy more smokes, so that when the clerk sees all the blood we are not identifiable

J looked at S with a crunched expression. Confused. This woman cant go for 5 minutes with out a fucking cigarette and we have a car full of dead bodies… maimed…. 

S:    I know what you are thinking!
J:    If it has to do with you being a lunatic chain smoker – then yes.
S:    So will you pull over already?
J:    Grumbles cuss words under her breath…  and turns sharply off to the side of the dark street.

S jumps out of the car with a victorious spring in her step and proceeds to try to get the plates off of the car…

J:    You better be able to put that shit back on!!
S:    I saw this advert for super glue the other day…. they glued a shoe to a chair to a table…    off of a ceiling…
J:    You are NOT super-gluing my plates back on.

J jumps out the car to make sure S isn’t ripping the damn things in half. 
J:    …. I will buy the smokes. Stop with that now..

S:    But you are also covered in red J.
J:    Yes, but unlike you I washed my hands and face before we left. YOU look like that dude from American Psycho and I have a sweater I can put on…

S:    Okay, smarty pants… you go in.
J:    We REALLY do need to address your impulsiveness, and your vigilante thing. S…   you are going to get into trouble one day because you don’t plan…

S smiled, but her eyes were serious. She could see the genuine concern in J’s face and didn’t know how to diffuse the sudden emotion. J was still talking but S had detached herself from the conversation and climbed back in the car.

S:     J? Let’s get the cigarettes, get to the farm, and then we can talk about my craziness, okay?
J:     You upset now??
S:    No, I just explained to you 20 minutes ago that I didn’t mean to kill four people. I mean, I did when I was wielding a toaster and a frying pan, but I didn’t PLAN there being four people…
J:    I know, I’m just saying that you have to think about your tracks and your forward movement. That all goes out the window when you want a cigarette??

J pulled away and there was silence. They pulled up at a fuel station and  J checked all the mirrors before getting out of the car and heading in. S watched from the passenger seat.

S looked over at the truck parked to the side of the pumps. The driver was a tall greasy looking man and he had a “I will do anything for cash” look about him. S grabbed her cell phone and called J. She watched J look at it, look at the car, and the answer:

J:     Ye?
S:     Ask for the keys to the toilets, and then go there, and stay there until I call you. Don’t argue. TRUST me.
J:      S?

S hung up and stared at J. J looked panicked but paid for the smokes and asked the clerk for the keys. She looked around as she exited the store and went round back to the toilets.

S read the Company logo on the truck: Refuse Removal and Waste Disposal.

Lyle the truck driver looked down from his high perch in the truck and there was a short, dark haired chick standing staring up at him. She has blood in her hair and on her face, and at a quick glance, she had it on her hands too.

Lyle:     What the fuck do you want?
S:          What do you use to get rid of the waste?

Lyle looked genuinely afraid for a moment. S realised her approach was going to have to be a little less subtle.

S:         Only reason I ask is I have a truck load of garbage bags that need disposing of. You know what I mean, Lyle?

Lyle:    How did you know my name is Lyle?

S:         You look like a Lyle. It also says so on your name tag. I asked you a question.

Lyle:     Uh, we burn it, or we use chemicals at the dump site. What’s it to you?

S stepped closer to the truck.

S:          Well, you see , Lyle. I have a small problem, and I am all alone. I have money…   and I was hoping you could get rid of some of what I have in my car.

Lyle didn’t answer. S didn’t look away, and tilted her head and half smiled at Lyle.

S:           Lyle G. Klufke. Nice badge. I wonder how many truck drivers with that name there would be? So easy to track down…     you have a family Lyle?

Lyle:      What the fuck do you want??

S:           A bit slow on the uptake Lyle? I want to put the contents of my car into your truck – with the guarantee that it will be disposed off and never seen again. I want to give you money, Lyle, so that you do that for me. You have a pen Lyle?

Lyle:     *Hands S a pen*  and sighs. How much money?

S writes Lyle’s tags down on her arm, and makes a point of saying it out loud so that Lyle knows he is baked either way.

S:           $400 ?

Lyle laughs, and then sees the expression on S’s face. He looks at S for a long time before he opened the door to his truck.

S:          Easy Lyle. You could made $400 for doing what? Putting a few black trash bags in your truck? Making sure they get to the right disposal sight?

Lyle:      Pull your truck up. You alone?

S:           Yeah. But it would be stupid to think that is to your advantage. Give me your phone. I will give it back when we are done.

Lyle:      What you want my phone for?
S:           To blow dry my hair. Just give it to me.

Lyle hands his phone over, and S is aware that the only thing that is scary about her right now is the fact that she is covered in blood. Lyle, fortunately is not an axe wielding psycho so he is so far, sufficiently afraid, and sufficiently greedy. S pulls the truck up to the back end of Lyle’s truck.

The stench that came from the truck when it’s doors opened made S smile. Lyle loaded the bags in and the expression on his face when he realised what was in the bags made S smile. S turned her phone onto ‘voice record’ in her pocket:

S:          Thank you for helping me.
Lyle:     What is in these bags?
S:          Waste.
Lyle:     And you…
S:          And I what? Lyle?   S held up her arm with Lyle’s information on it.
Lyle:     I will make sure that these are correctly disposed of.
S:          Thank you Lyle. I am very grateful.

Lyle wiped his forehead and looks over at what he thinks is ‘S’s car. He sees no tags and looks at S.

S:         What do you see Lyle?
Lyle:    Nothing. His face defeated.

S takes her phone out of her pocket. Lyle sees her push the STOP button, and then the PLAY button. You can hear the conversation, and Lyle shakes his head.

Lyle:    That can’t hurt me.
S:          No, but your fingerprints all over those bags could. So it would be in your best interests to dispose of it all properly. You never saw me. We never had this conversation. Not unless those bags get discovered…  in which case Lyle, this recording and your fingerprints will tie you to the bodies. But the bodies will never be tied to me, because they have no teeth or fingerprints Lyle. I’m good at that part. Think about that if you decide to go back on our arrangement.

S smiled sweetly, and handed Lyle back his phone, using her sleeve.

S:       I have your number now, and the names of your wife and a few other people that seem important to you judging by the messages. So you are going to get in your truck and drive away now.

S handed Lyle $400 and gestured for him to get into the truck.

S drove the car back to its previous spot and waited until Lyle had disappeared up the road. After looking around for a long while, she called J

J:        I have been in here for over half an hour!!
S:        So smile at the attendant when you hand him back the keys and tell him you were constipated.

J surfaced from the back of the fuel stop and went back into the store. She sheepishly handed the keys back to the attendant and headed to the car. S watched her face as she realised there were no bodies in the car.

J:      S?
S:      Yes?
J:      Where are the ….  bags?
S:      What bags?

J stared at S.

J:       I smoked some of your smokes…
S:      That’s okay. They were for you anyway. I have plenty.

See Part 7 – Road Trip

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