I Am The Girl…

I am the girl who sits with her back to the wall
to make sure I can see who comes and who goes,
I am the girl who will be rude before it is called for,
because I am the girl who already knows.
I am the girl who fell down the stairs,
or walked into a door, when anyone asked,
as I got up off the floor.
I am the girl who was a punching bag and a toy for a time.
I am the girl who learned how to escape into the depths of my mind.
But now I am the girl who believes in vengeance, rage and an eye for an eye
and I am that girl, the one who does not run, and will not hide,
No matter what you think you may have on me.
You will see,
That you will be,
The one being peeled off the floor,
and shown the door.

I am the unimpressed, and the obviously bored.
I am the pusher, the hater and the girl your brain can’t afford.
I am the narcissist and the cruel deliverer of words.
I am that girl.
I am the girl who will call you out on a lie.
I’d rather walk into the gates of purgatory and die
than pretend to be anyone else other than the hedonistic opinionated
rotting human being that I am to the core.
I am done with laying in submission on the floors
of your fantasies, and your hideous self
destructive reflection. Vanity was never my weakness.
Only yours.

I am that girl.
The one who would rather stare at a painting,
or read a book,
or tie you up and leave you to wait
until you are deserving of me.
I am that girl. The one who doesn’t care
if you have a degree. Or if you can play the piano,
or if you can argue politics and religion.
I am the girl who is
in love with the flaws. The freckles. The imperfection
that makes you human. The imperfection that reminds me that I
am human too. I am that girl.

I am that girl. The one that holds idiots up against walls by their throats
simply because I am having a bad day and
it seems like a perfectly rational idea at the time.
I wont apologise. I am not that girl. The one that says sorry.

I am the girl that thinks in poetry,
and feels in numbers. I am the girl who doesn’t mind the taste of blood.
Or getting it on my hands.
I am that girl. The one that get’s arrested for assaulting a clown.
I am the girl that will wait with a bat for hours just to bring you down.

I am that girl.
I am the girl that has Bob Marley in my head
while I imagine putting you in hospital.
I am the girl who will come visit you in hospital
just to fuck with you.

I am that girl, because
the girl before me spent way too much time being
afraid.

I am no longer that girl.