Right Choice, Feels Wrong.

Someone I love lost one of her beloved animals yesterday. We spoke about how the connection we have with our animals is one that is unexplainable to those who don’t ever experience it. I never really let my emotions show after the day I had to make the choice I did… and after the conversation with the person who lost her precious dog, it all came flooding in… and I cried hard for the first time since the day… and the pain, is so real, and so vivid that it kills me. I am re posting this, because I am feeling the emotions again, and because its left me feeling… empty. I struggle to touch other peoples animals with out a sharp pang of remorse and grief and guilt and … anyway. My heart bleeds for the lady who lost her beautiful dog. And, it has allowed me to bleed for my own loss.

Mocking Bird Down

On the 26th of November, my cat Marley was attacked by my dogs. The scene still plays in my mind. The blood. The sight of Marley, and the blood on my dogs faces. And so it began… the roller coaster of emotions that has left me so heart broken, and so tired and so very drained.

On the day I would have killed my dogs with my own bare hands. But some serious anti-anxiety meds and a deep sleep helped me be strong minded enough to know that I needed to think for a whileabout what to do.

Marley was in the vet for 6 days. He had a hole through the bottom of his jaw, the top of his mouth and into the back of his eyeball. The muscles on his paw were ripped and he was covered in hardened dog saliva and blood. They cleaned him…

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