When I started this blog, my motives were to purge. In my immediate reality I am told I have the gift of telling stories, and making people laugh in my animated way. At the same time, because of just how much trauma I have been through – it was hard to combine the humour and the pain. So I put together a series of ABOUT ME pages… all covering some of the details of my life. I think people were more intrigued by how I have survived, than anything else. Rape, torture, mental and physical pain that I would not wish on anyone…
I have since taken those pages down because I got tired of psychologists spouting ego driven bull shit at me.
The initial plan was to write, as it came to me, and then to gather some of it in a chronological order and combine poetry with photography and make a book… called “Cocaine and Casinos”. Even if there was only one copy and no one else ever saw it.
I was alarmed at 10 followers… like, for real. I was confused. I PANICKED when I hit 100 followers and still said to a friend I have made here – that I am finding the attention hard to deal with. Which is a weird feeling because I am not shy of people or of… attention, but for some reason having people ‘follow’ my brain was a surreal experience.
It still is. I am at 210 followers now – and I just had a mini heart attack. BUT, I am grateful – because this platform has become my second home. I am not very popular with the timid at heart, but I have made some friends, and one woman in particular who stands and roars at the world with me. It’s been a blessing to be a part of this community – and to all of you – strangers – I am deeply grateful.
So… Thank you. You have my humblest gratitude.