Sibling Bonds

One of my three brothers knows I love poetry – and because we had been struggling to communicate with out fighting – write this for me. I still cry every time I read it. It demonstrates his effort to talk to me in a language he believes I understand, and it was his way of trying to tell me what he think happened and how we came to be where we are. I am so grateful for him. So grateful that he tried to write a poem… out of love and need for me to be okay. He is 6 years younger than I am. I am 35 now.

(Just for interest sake I am coming up for 6 years clean and sober).

MY SISTER

My sister has the capacity to love deeply

My sister has the capacity to feel true empathy

My sister has the capacity to sacrifice selflessly

My sister was my hero

My sister taught me how to be creative

My sister played drawing games with me in the car

My sister made me laugh every day

My sister defended me when I couldn’t defend myself

My sister understood me when no one else did

My sister jumped in puddles with me just because we could

My sister went through some things

My sister struggled alone

My sister became distant

My sister started to drink a bit much

My sister needed me to rescue her

My sister got married

My sister moved away

My sister and I grew apart

My sister came home

My sister brought demons back that I couldn’t rescue her from

My sister gave up on herself

My sister gave up on us

My sister was still my hero

My sister became thick skinned

My sister forgot about me

My sister battled her demons with drugs

I watched my big sister fall apart

I felt helpless to save her

I hated to see her broken

I hated myself for not fixing her

I hated myself for being ok when she wasn’t

I got married

I love my wife

I had kids

I love them endlessly

I tried to help anyone I could because I couldn’t help my sister

I tried to understand what my sister was going through

My health failed me

My health failed me again

My worst fears nearly came true

My life nearly ended

My only way trough it is to let go of the struggle to help everyone

My only regret is that it means leaving my big sister alone with her demons.