D, for Douchebag

aead1362812811e2a12822000a9f18f6_7Admittedly I am a little shit. No denial there. My less endearing qualities being my ever cheery disposition and my temper.

I ordinarily would let something like this go – but I am nominating a fellow writer for a Douche award. He is a brilliant writer – but he is an ass. He makes my narcissism look like a passing bit of grumpiness. I will leave out his name – but he knows who he is, which is all I want. (I know, childish, right?)

Thread goes as follows:


“…search for pragmatic truths about the human condition and my unending inquiry into the extraordinary mysteries of life.” Hmmm… it appears we have more than Poe in common.By the looks of it I have a more narcissistic and less ‘refined’ way of going about it than you – but I suppose that is what it is all about.

Oh… and I thought ‘jalopy’ was a South African word. Apparently not.


Great to learn that we share mutual interests, I think in many ways they are universal human endeavors. Glad to learn of fellow explorers of thought, word, and world.


I disagree. Most people are complacent and content with ignorance – but I suppose your positivity serves you well.


Or perhaps you regard their interpretation and execution of truth as “complacent” and “ignorant” because it is foreign or different from your own. Just some food for thought. I have a less positive worldview than my comments may portray, but I also believe pragmatic truths come in many forms–not to include my personal opinions about their nature, utility, or worth.


Why would you portray positivity if it was not your truth? I am going to ignore the first sentence in your response – mostly because it makes no sense, and you made an assumption about my reasoning behind my less than hopeful view of mankind. So I will in turn ‘assume’ that you are one of those intellectual left brains who leans towards the narcissistic and who is detached enough to be charismatic, clever worded and sufficiently self assured.

You like big words and ambiguous answers. I, however prefer clarity, candor – and a healthy recognition of a great mind with out having to have a pissing contest first.

So you can put it back in your pants. I am leaving your playground.


The spirit of my comment had every positive intention and attempted only to take a “devil’s advocate” view of the topic–I did not mean for my response to come off as an attack on your opinion and I certainly was not attempting to make assumptions about your reasoning. Rather, I was challenging your comment by engaging you with an alternative point of view–something essential to intellectual growth and the foundation of discourse. In any case, despite the misinterpretation of my response, your belittling and antagonistic jabs at me on a personal level were blatantly presumptuous and spiteful. I don’t appreciate vulgarity or poor grammar (both which are quite the opposite of anything worth calling “intellectual” and tend to be tools most often utilized by the ignorant masses you claim to be so far above), so please feel free to stay on your side of the school yard.


… My intention was both to be spiteful and jab at you – just so we are clear. But if you are going to quote me incorrectly then take away the option to reply …just seems a bit… limp?

Am I supposed to envy your grandiose disdain of my grammar? Because its not on par with yours, is that it? I hate to burst your bubble – but yours is hardly perfect either in your comments and responses to people who shove their heads up your ass (which incidentally you are very good at appreciating in a way that makes them feel worthy.)

Vain arrogance. Pseudo intellectual bullshit. YOU are what I don’t like about humanity. You see… I am a narcissistic little shit – obnoxiously so – but I make an effort to be friendly, at least. I write for pleasure, and not reward or follower count. I am grateful that I don’t have people gushing over me like you have – oh what a struggle it must be to keep your ego and perfect facade in check. I have never claimed to be far above anyone. I have said what annoys me – but placed myself above? No. But then again I haven’t been petty enough to belittle someone based on their grammar either. I will say that it is interesting that you are less composed in an argument than you are in your preened and pruned writing. Do you spend a lot of time grabbing for perfection?

You don’t appreciate vulgarity? I don’t appreciate being misquoted. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. So when you assumed I was making it personal, I probably was – but it was a knee jerk reaction to you addressing me like I was in fact, beneath you. The ‘spirit’ of your comments was not misinterpreted. You are an ass. A brilliant writer – but still an ass.

I have been on this site now for a while, and you are the first person I have had this reaction to. Feather in your cap perhaps. Well spoken. Well read. Charismatic. Well done. Oh, and excellent grammar. Sharing a playground with a fellow self absorbed narcissistic – less well read, less well spoken kid with awful grammar? Oh the tragedy.

Food for thought.

Please, accept this award.
You judgmental bastard.

4 thoughts on “D, for Douchebag

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