In the aftermath of the tippled boxes come undone; ribbons untied, and words scraped from corners of a pale skinned mind, unrefined; do I say I am sorry? When I was just a girl, in dresses printed in sunshine and sewn together with trust, I learned that words mean very little. Unless, they cause an … More Boxes Undone
Look at me, in a way that makes me feel like you have ripped out my secrets and stored the bloody pieces in your pockets, proudly and with the intention of making them yours too. Touch me, in a way that makes me lean in, with out thinking. That makes me inhale you, like a … More Don’t Fall
There are seconds, sometimes long hours, where my head feels heavy. Heavy with a weighted accumulation of thoughts. Some unimportant, and some important enough to be worth avoiding. But to turn my back on one, means to stare at another, and the pressure is not unlike that of a boiling kettle. Steam burns brand those … More I’m Fine.
Remembering you, is like placing my lips on a heavy bottomed whiskey glass, filled with tiny sharp shards of a broken mirror and tilting it into my mouth. Slicing my tongue, the same tongue that licked the blood from your lips when you fell into my glass desk. Tearing at my throat, with a familiar … More Let Go.
So, about 7 or 8 years ago, I held one of my brothers girlfriends up against a wall by her throat. I am only 5ft tall, and I remember locking my elbow so that her weight didn’t buckle my arm. I had been silently hating her with more venom with each encounter we had. She … More Temper, temper. The things people remember…
There are moments, when I am doing nothing of any importance, or I am engaged in a conversation, or even when I am mad busy with work… and I am forced to pause because a collection of thoughts and realizations hit me. The equivalent of a 12 car pile up on the fast lane on … More 12 Car Pile Up of the Brain
There are days, like today – where I run through that phrase ‘People who are really crazy don’t know they are crazy’ in my mind, and I think of all the times I have been called mad, or that I have wondered if I am. It is a serious ‘point’ of thought for me because … More Crazy Talk
Star gazer Bully hazer Spirit talker Coal walker Soul of black Sold on crack Bright red bleeder Wound healer Barely out-running Those are are gunning for this life. Of mine. Demons glowing Behind eyes, knowing how to rig the game of truth vs pain. Bending time Falling in line with the bellows of the fallen … More Break
When I was in rehab, I detested group therapy. Partly because I have never been good at listening to other people talk about pain when it is so ‘obvious’ what that person could or should have done – and then those that simply like the attention so the waterworks come on instantly… and also because … More Group Torture
There are people in my world who love and adore me regardless of my crazy that I don’t always keep tucked in. I love them and am grateful for them. But there are occasions where I see the facial expression on the person I am interacting with (loved one or stranger) where they fail to … More Genetic Malfunction