Out of Order

I don’t beg, but, I will, if you ask. I don’t pretend, except, in the dark. Night unfolds, All that I hide in plain sight. My chest, an empty cavity, and void of what you need me to feel. Rotting. You would be better off, to pick another carousel to ride. This one is out … More Out of Order

Gift

My hands are cold, and my skin is old. A lifeless blue, and sore to touch. I cry, soft, in a private space, plush with reds and ribbon and lace; A sanctuary for me, and a faceless freedom. I lay my heart in the bowl, and watch the blood bleed and coat the engraved words: … More Gift

I’m Fine.

There are seconds, sometimes long hours, where my head feels heavy. Heavy with a weighted accumulation of thoughts. Some unimportant, and some important enough to be worth avoiding. But to turn my back on one, means to stare at another, and the pressure is not unlike that of a boiling kettle. Steam burns brand those … More I’m Fine.

Let Go.

Remembering you, is like placing my lips on a heavy bottomed whiskey glass, filled with tiny sharp shards of a broken mirror and tilting it into my mouth. Slicing my tongue, the same tongue that licked the blood from your lips when you fell into my glass desk. Tearing at my throat, with a familiar … More Let Go.

No. 77

Pick me up in stages, let my knuckles drag, and my head drop and loll, mouth open, struggling to breathe. Let my eyes roll back, and wait for my pulse to become so feint.. that the fingers pressed to my neck would have to be so still just to feel any signs of life. Hide … More No. 77

Crazy Talk

There are days, like today – where I run through that phrase ‘People who are really crazy don’t know they are crazy’ in my mind, and I think of all the times I have been called mad, or that I have wondered if I am. It is a serious ‘point’ of thought for me because … More Crazy Talk

Break

Star gazer Bully hazer Spirit talker Coal walker Soul of black Sold on crack Bright red bleeder Wound healer Barely out-running Those are are gunning for this life. Of mine. Demons glowing Behind eyes, knowing how to rig the game of truth vs pain. Bending time Falling in line with the bellows of the fallen … More Break

Group Torture

When I was in rehab, I detested group therapy. Partly because I have never been good at listening to other people talk about pain when it is so ‘obvious’ what that person could or should have done – and then those that simply like the attention so the waterworks come on instantly…  and also because … More Group Torture

Genetic Malfunction

There are people in my world who love and adore me regardless of my crazy that I don’t always keep tucked in. I love them and am grateful for them. But there are occasions where I see the facial expression on the person I am interacting with (loved one or stranger) where they fail to … More Genetic Malfunction