I have ligature marks on my ankles, from the rope that I use every day. I fasten the weights of observed pain and of of expected guilt, of spoken sorrow, and of your mournful shame to my dulled and tired body, and I climb into the water again. I don’t want to drown. I don’t … More Manotonous
When a Mother Does.. When a mother falls to her knees, to beg, and to pray; to crawl and to get out of the way. When a mother covers her face, and her swollen skin, to hide the burst blood vessels and her fragility within; there is no vanity there- it’s to protect her tiny … More When a Mother Does
I will find my way, back to the edge. The edge of the mouth of the volcano that once invited me in, with a pulsing promise of complete silence. In rest. In the last prayer. In the belly of a burning, churning whisper. Freedom, it tells me. A reconnection with the life I left behind, … More My Edge
I like music, when it is just me, but far prefer silence when in the company of people. Music reminds me I am human. People, do not.
Let us for argument sake say, that you would die today. Let us for argument sake say, That a video of your life would play. A blow by blow account of all that has taken place. What would be the expression on your newly dead face? Would you weep and beg to go back? Would … More Death’s Video Footage
There are moments, when I am doing nothing of any importance, or I am engaged in a conversation, or even when I am mad busy with work… and I am forced to pause because a collection of thoughts and realizations hit me. The equivalent of a 12 car pile up on the fast lane on … More 12 Car Pile Up of the Brain
There are days, like today – where I run through that phrase ‘People who are really crazy don’t know they are crazy’ in my mind, and I think of all the times I have been called mad, or that I have wondered if I am. It is a serious ‘point’ of thought for me because … More Crazy Talk
There are people in my world who love and adore me regardless of my crazy that I don’t always keep tucked in. I love them and am grateful for them. But there are occasions where I see the facial expression on the person I am interacting with (loved one or stranger) where they fail to … More Genetic Malfunction
We bleed bright red, into buckets lined up by the traitors wearing smiles and spitting curses, but we are not dead. We are not dead. A quien Dios ama, le llama. We have been blessed, in between each torture of our souls. Blessed, because with each toast to having survived having our souls dragged across … More A mas honor, mas dolor.
Over the last few years I have had a repeated thought. A question actually, that gathers dust most days, but on some days, it rattles the bars of my otherwise solid facade of … whatever face it is I think I have built for the pleasure of the masses. Is everything a game? There is … More I Am A Fraud. What Do You See?