8.20 Train

Summer nights all sounds the same; the rattle of the heat, against the humidity and the thick of the shame that settles on the city eleven floors below. My skin is sticky with cigarette smoke, and the wretched weariness that feels more like dehydration of the mind; each thought, each movement – an effort not … More 8.20 Train

Dead Meat

In rage, I imagine the suffocation of a bull, in clear plastic. Layers, and layers of clear plastic. It can fight. It can call. But it’s strength will be it’s death. It will die. It’s how I feel, and the image I rewind and pause like an old movie, when I feel this way. Pounding … More Dead Meat

Joys of Insomnia

Sleep is something that I used to be able to do any time, any place, anywhere, Upside down, awkward like, on something uncomfortable. But not anymore. My brain has moved into quantum speeds and I find it incredibly hard to slow down enough to keep my eyes closed, let alone relax enough to sleep. Now … More Joys of Insomnia

Compost

Lay me down, beneath the beckoning branches of the giants. Drive the marker into the earth, and pray, for my soul.

My Edge

I will find my way, back to the edge. The edge of the mouth of the volcano that once invited me in, with a pulsing promise of complete silence. In rest. In the last prayer. In the belly of a burning, churning whisper. Freedom, it tells me. A reconnection with the life I left behind, … More My Edge

Let Go, Please.

Escape from me, I beg. You’re skulking about like swine in my late noon shadows. Let go of my coat, and give me the silence I have longed for from the moment I first heard your voice. I am so tired, of being the strongest. Underneath the electric facade, that you think gives you life, … More Let Go, Please.

2.17 am

James is wondering around feeling ill because he ate a giant bag of jelly beans in one go… Marley my cat is following me around weaving between my feet in the hopes that I will trip and fall and that it will then occur to me to feed him (because it doesn’t matter that there … More 2.17 am